Weigh In

I hesitate to offer myself a reward this week. (The fancy little trophy you see above) Yet, I lost 3 POUNDS! I'm not sure how it's possible because I really fell off the wagon this week. I got ZERO activity points. I went off PROGRAM for 2 days which included all you can eat ice cream and a stop at a Mexican restaurant with so many chips and salsa that I thought I'd gained 5 pounds just in one meal. To top it all off, I had a big goof up on my Weight Watcher's program. I started out WW with 24 points. I didn't realize that I was suppose to take a points quiz and change my points from years ago when I started the program. It turns out I was really supposed to be eating 27 points. After 4 weeks of 24 points, I thought 27 would pack on the pounds. I planned to eat the 27 and just lay off the flex for a couple of weeks. That plan went way out the window. I realized how hungry I was with just 24 points, and I ate my 27, plus all of my flex. That doesn't count that I went off program and never even bothered to count my points. The more I write, the more I feel like I should put up a hall of shame award instead.

Why was this such a bad week. I have been very depressed. I just became a new mom through adoption. Now I have a 5 year old and a 22 month old. Sometimes, being a mom puts me into a box and I feel like I am going to suffocate. I love my kids, and it's usually not like this, but it's hard to stay at home and keep hold of things like femininity, beauty and power.

To make it all worse, I am fat. I was chiding my husband about gaining a few pounds since his hip replacement. He said that he actually hadn't gained any since last summer. BAM! SLAM! He was letting me know that I was fatter than him. I kind of liked the idea that we were fat together.

I have recommitted myself to a better week. I plan on staying OP for the entire week, and my goal this week is to exercise for 20 minutes every day.